


Rest Assured (We'll Get Back Somehow)

by paperflowers



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Partner Betrayal, Post-Episode: s02e11 Mea Maxima Culpa, Post-Episode: s02e12 You Are Not Your Own, Trauma, threat of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperflowers/pseuds/paperflowers
Summary: The whole fiasco with him being Valentine, and Valentine being him is over.  Isn't it?Magnus is free from the Institute and back in his own body but being accused by your lover and almost killed in the body of another isn't something you can just walk off.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Kudos: 68





	Rest Assured (We'll Get Back Somehow)

Water cascaded down his aching back, easing the tension in his muscles and allowing him to breathe deeply again. The power washer massaged his skin which still felt foreign to him: stretched, like too large a hand had tried to slide into a tight glove. It was like his body wasn’t his own. The trembling of his limbs, which had started two hours ago did not cease. His heart still ached from the heartbreak. He wished he could wash it all away, but it was only water. Its magic couldn't stretch that far.

_It was weird: looking at the world from someone else's eyes. The colours of the world were less, as though muted somehow, and the sounds less melodic and more practical. The larger frame felt bulky and weird. He felt too small, too thick and too heavy. His skin was dry. Thick cuticles guarded his longer nails. His pale skin looked almost grey. It was nothing like the creamy milk of Alec's soft lightly calloused skin roughened from use but well looked after. No. This dermis was dry, scaly almost, yet the forehead shone with oils._

_"You're coming with us," and he was hauled to his feet and dragged away._

_"But!"_

_"Shut up,"_

_He looked at his captor plaintively but his love didn't see him._

Magnus shuddered as he recalled the harsh treatment. He'd have done the same in their shoes, he thought. What happened was out of the realm of possibility that of course it didn't occur to them until it was staring them in the face. Then they had no choice but to accept the truth.

If he was honest with himself, and he wasn't as often as he should be, it was no surprise that it took the Nephilim so long to realise their mistake. After all, they were never wrong, were they? He took a deep shuddering breath but it wasn't enough. His lungs still grabbed for more. He took another and another and another. In and in and in and in until he was fit to burst. Suddenly, despite washing already, he felt very dirty. Grabbing the loufa, the rough one Alec had complained scraped his skin off and Magnus replied saying that it removed all the yucky dead cells, he rubbed it against his skin hard: harder than he should. And he didn't stop.

_"What are you planning Valentine?" A face sneered close to his: closer than he was comfortable with. He tried, frightened, to move his head away. "Oh, no you don't," he heard as large strong hands forced him to look into cold blue eyes. "You’ll look at me when you lie,"_

_"If you've already decided I'm lying, why are you bothering to ask?" He cringed immediately. He let out a cry as he was vigorously shaken._

_"You’re in no position to be cheeky,_ murderer," _the guard hissed._

_Funny, Magus thought. He was only a murderer because he was caught. If he had succeeded in wiping out Downworlders in a successive swoop he'd have been proclaimed a hero. But the Clave would have been next and they were never ones for sharing power. And so Valentine was cast as a villain when he might otherwise be cast as a hero._

_"I'm not. I - !" but they were shaking him again and his brains rattled in their skull._

_"Shut up, lying scum!"_

_“Tailfeather! Darkstone!" snapped a voice. "What are you doing?"_

_"Questioning the prisoner,” they replied simply. "He’s not very cooperative."_

_"You're not cleared to question him. Just lock him on his cell and the inquisitor will ask the questions,"_

_A harsh hand pulled him close. "Lucky escape,” a hot breath hissed in his ear leaving the shell moist. It made him feel sick._

_He scrambled up from where he was tossed to the ground. "I demand to speak with Alec Lightwood!” he yelled boldly. He had to see Alexander. He'd know what to do. He'd help him.[/blockquote]_

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut. He could still feel the press of their bodies against the foreign mass he possessed. He had tried to tell himself he was back where he belonged but the lingering sensation made his skin crawl. They tried so hard to tell the world they were different, to tell themselves, but they were just like everybody else: trying to make their way easiest way they could in their own best interests. He had met so called filthy Downworlders with more soul and heart in their pinkies than most shadowhunters had in their entire bodies.

Magnus didn't know he was still abusing his soft flesh until large, gentle hands stilled his own.

_A hard grip bruised the beefy shoulders of his borrowed body. He could feel the grip clench firmly like a steel trap around his upper arm. "You'll talk," he's told._

_"I - I'll only speak to lightwood," he manages._

_The steel trap tightens. "You’ll talk to me,” he's told. "but lucky for you, that lightwood kid has agreed to face you. I would have too. If only to spit in the face of the man who tortured my parabatai," a gob of saliva smacks thickly against his cheek and he flinches. He heard a mocking laugh. "What? A little body fluid putting you off? Funny considering your hands are literally drenched in blood." The nephilim looks him up and down with disdain. "No matter: you'll be drenched in it everywhere soon enough,"_

"OOF,"

The noise, do out of place, encourages Magnus to focus. He sees his dear Alexander fattened against the wall rubbing his head.

"Alec! I… " Magnus starts horrified to see blue sparks dying around his fingers. "I didn't -" he starts head ducking to look in shock at his hands. How could he? He hurt his sweet Alexander. It's not something ever wanted to do. He looked up at Alec wide-eyed and speechless and back down at the hands which betrayed him. 

As he did, almost blindly, he felt rather than saw gentle, strong hands slide into his. Those hands gripped him firmly when he tried to pull away crying "no you can't!" and looking into Alec's eyes, distraught.

His boyfriend was smiling kindly. "It’s OK Magnus,"

"No. It's not. I - I - I h-hurt you!" he struggled to get the words out. They were like glass cutting his throat and he was bleeding, pouring blood and all he could do was stand there and let it happen.

Alec was shaking his head. How could he be shaking his head? What was wrong with him? He should be running not pulling him closer.

Wait what? No. He can't do that! He had to get away. Be safe! Magnus wasn't safe right now. What if he sparked again? Alexander would be hurt and he couldn't stand that. Not because of him. Never him.

"Magnus. Magnus calm down. Take it easy. I got you," Alec soothed as his distressed boyfriend struggled against him.

_"Hey," a sharp voice said. "Take it easy in there,"_

_Magus had taken to pacing the cell agitatedly which was made his captors and torturers nervous. So he should obviously stop for their comfort right? But he couldn't help himself. He had to do something or he's go crazy in here! He might attack the guards or try to escape and that wouldn't end well for him._

_"Don’t make me cut lunch short just because I have to come in there and make my point in person," the angry shadowhunter warned. But Magnus didn't stop. He couldn't. "That’s it!" the heavy footsteps followed and the door swooshed open, but Magnus wasn't paying attention to any of that. He stared foxed ahead, a wondrous hope on his eyes._

_"I'm here to see Valentine," said a deep reluctant voice. "Like he demanded,"_

_Yes, yes, he had demanded. His dear, sweet, perceptive Alexander would see and he'd help free him, because Magnus couldn't do this. Not again._

(Before the Uprising)

_Magnus groaned as the pain flared. Escaping had taken more out of him than expected. Valentine really knew what he was doing. Keeping a warlock in when you were one was no easy feat. It should have been much harder for the crazed nephilim._

_Had one of his own joined him? Never, thought Magnus. But coerced? That was another story._

_A strange heaving sound reached his ears. He looked down to find a warlock sobbing. She looked about 6, but a spell gone wrong at that age had trapped her in that body. She worked to free herself but even the spiral labyrinth was having difficulties. As such it was easy to forget she was 200 years old, especially when her sobs pitched high like a child's and your heart was as soft as Magnus's. He knelt down to her eye level._

_"Hey," he said softly, "It'll be OK. We'll get out of here and he won't be able to find us,” He said._

_"We need to get out of here first," she reminded him between gulping sobs._

_"Step one? Make them think they have the upper hand. Step two; get a routine worked out. Step 3; establish that you're right. Step 4; find the ideal time before it finds you. Rushing in a panic is never a good idea. Step 5; get out of the cage," he listed. "See? We've done so many steps so far. Were more than half way,"_

_"haven't –“ hiccup, "actually done the hard part yet,"_

_No. No, they hadn’t, but he was damned if he was going to get her give up now._

_“Come on,” he held out his hand, a fierce, but gentle look in his eye. “I’ll keep you right,” he said, wiggling his digits encouragingly._

_With a watery smile she had come forward, her tiny body rushing after him as they rushed through the dark corridors. Why Valentine felt the need to live and work in a grimy underground he had no idea. Maybe felt it was necessary in playing up his bad guy persona. Magnus just thought it was tacky._

_“Hey! Don’t space out on me!”_

_“Space out?” Magnus asked, disgusted by the phrase._

_The girl, trapped woman, rolled her eyes. “And here I thought you kept up with the times, dressing like that.”_

_“What’s wrong with how I dress?” Magnus immediately asked as they turned a corner._

_“Watch out!” magic launched him across the adjacent hall. As he slid to a stop, an arrow pierced her body. “Go!” She cried, another landing in her gut._

_“Hey! Don’t damage her marks idiot!”_

_Magnus fled, the sound of her body being mutilated, wet and loud behind him_

_(_ End scene)

_Magnus opened his eyes._

_"What do you want, Valentine?" The harsh voice, so familiar, yet so foreign pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up to find an angry faced Alexander, thin lipped and stern browned, glaring at him. If he could catch fire from a look he would be an inferno right now. All he wanted to do was reach out and be held._

_"Don’t waste my time. What are you planning?” He demanded._

_Oh right. He should respond. Out loud. Speak Magnus. "It's me, Alexander,"_

_Alec's brow deepened. "I know it's you. I'm not stupid. Your right in front of me," he said. "Don’t tell me you're trying to feign brain damage. Jace didn't hit you that hard,"_

_"He’s not the only one" Magnus muttered._

_"What was that?" Alec stepped forward but unlike the others he still kept his distance and he didn't touch him. Gentle, even with a sworn enemy. By god by angel, by devil, how he loved him. Loves. Loves him. Always. Even when they weren't talking he loved him._

_"It's me!” he tried again more urgently. "Magnus," he said attempting to reach out._

_He was slapped away. It hurt but he understood. A simple plea was not enough. Not for his meticulous angel. He'd need more. Any sane person would._

_"Liar,” Alec snarled stepping back. "You’re not him. I would know,"_

_Magnus's heart squeezed painfully. He would know, he said. But he didn't._

_“I don't know how Azazel did it. I should never have summoned him. I should have stressed harder how dangerous it was. By he switched us! Am I not acting strange?" he pleaded. He let it all pour out, frightened if he paused Alec would take hold and prevent him from getting his point across._

_"Just another game to you," the oldest lightwood child resisted. “You won't get in my head. I won't let you," Alec was vibrating with fury. He had to work fast or he'd lose him and his chance would be gone._

_"No. Never," Magnus denied. "Isn’t Magnus acting strange? Haven't you noticed anything off?"_

_Alec paused. He could see it. "No. I'm not going to even consider this," but it was there, that chunk of doubt. He had to widen that gap. "You messed with my brother. You_ abused _him. You twisted his love and his trust. You hurt your daughter. Enough, Valentine. Tell me the next step in your plan." Alec moved forward invading his space. What was once sexy was now intimidating. Alec might really hurt him. He'd never forgive himself for that._

_"We kissed at your wedding. Our first date was at the pool house. I told you my number was 17 - you really didn't appreciate that but you asked. I wasn't going to lie - you don't dislike Clary as much as you claim and you really hate it when I summon coffee. Your favourite past time is kissing on the couch with the lights low. I. Alec. It's_ me," _he begs because he is begging. Pleading. Grovelling and hoping and praying to who he doesn't care about anyone but himself that his sweet precious Alexander will just see him. Know it's him. Want him all the same._

_God, he doesn't hope he's stuck on this body. It felt like Valentine didn't know what a vegetable was._

_"Prove it!” Alec bit out, his entire being vibrating with wary agitation._

_"I just did!" Magnus replied with hopeful desperation. "It’s_ me, _" he said like it would magically make a difference. You never know. Maybe it would. Miracles happened all the time right?_

_Ssay something only I would know,"_

_"If only you know it how am I going to?!" Magnus asked hysterically._

_"Only_ we _would know," Alec frowned frustrated. He wanted to believe. But could he? Could he risk the world on wishful thinking? But what if it was true?. What if it's really Magnus? He'd be leading the man he loves to slaughter and he can't do that. Not Magnus. Not his overly kind, frustratingly independent boyfriend who says he's fine even when his limbs are hanging off. "There must be something," he pleaded softly._

_Magnus paced for a moment thinking furiously. Chat could he say that he hadn't already. Was his list not good enough? It was pretty intimate. What else was there?_

_"You got me a Better Than Gandalf mug, and confessed you didn't know what it meant but there is no one in the world better than me. I blushed and gave you a kiss and told you Simon just got you to buy geek merchandise. You threatened him with the cells. It'd have been funny if he hadn't been so freaked out. He only calmed down after I convinced you to tell him you weren’t going to do that and you muttered you still might. I kissed your grumpiness away and called a sweet. Jace burst in and overhead and called you sweetie for a week forcing an embargo on pet names we don't have. We do have a padlock at the sign just like France and it means so much to Mr that you wanted one."_

_Alec looked shattered. He hated that he was the one to put that expression there._

_"Aku cinta kamu," he looked deep into those beautiful soulful eyes and tried to read them._

_Alec looked shattered. Then, suddenly, enraged. He crowded Magnus who cowered against the wall._

_"What? I don't-"_

_"Don’t you dare use him to get to me. To us. He's a million times better than you'll ever be. “Alec hissed at him. "The inquisitor had a few questions," he announced at the door._

_It took a moment for time words to sink in. "No. No! Please. It's me!” he cried. "It’s me!" Magnus sobbed collapsing as two guards grabbed his arms and hauled him to a chair with stars._

_"Take it easy," one told him. It'll all be over soon,"_

He was in Alexander's arms, sobbing, when reality bled back in. The feel of his skin, soft from care, upraised from institutionalised self mutilation, the strong shape of his immaculately maintained body seeped comfort into Magnus who clung tightly to him.

"I'm so sorry," Alec whispered caressing soothing hands up and down his trembling back. Or maybe it was Alec's hands that were trembling. He wasn't sure. He became vaguely aware that he was pressed against Alec, and how small his body felt against his. How well he fit against his larger frame.

Angry, suddenly, that Alec wasn’t there to do this before, even if it was in the hateful man’s skin, Magnus pulled back and Alexander let him go, just like he had before. Enraged and unable to say the words which stuck jagged in his throat, Magnus thrashed with fists against his love’s chest. The solid wall of Alexander barely moved save to vibrate as he whispered, “I know. I _know_. I’m _sorry_. I should have been there. I … I should have been better. I’m so sorry Magnus,”

Magnus didn’t stop. He didn’t know how to stop. Soon, just when his fists began to ache and Alec must be already sore, the younger man gentle took hold of his wrists. He wrangled the angry, sobbing form of his boyfriend close, keeping him there as Magnus twitched and jerked in desolate agitation. It wasn’t long before Magnus collapsed against him, arms winding around the Nephilim’s steady body, face hiding in the curve of his neck. Alexander didn’t stop his whispering, though Magnus was long since deaf to what the words might be. It was a long time before he calmed down enough for the sobbing to fade to hiccups.

"Look at you,” Alec cooed softly. "You’ve rubbed your skin raw," he commented bushing gently over his angry sensitive flesh. Magnus shifted but didn't complain. This pain was his as it was meant to be. He flinched at the unexpected Contact of a soft cloth dripping in a creamy lather.

"I don't," Magnus's voice cracked.

"For me,” Alec said. "I want to take care of you," he swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. "I didn't before. Please. I need to-"

Magnus can't help but nod jerkily, and Alec stops, his answer given. He feels more than hears a thank you whispered against his cheek before a loving protective kiss follows. They don't talk again and as the bathing morphs into cleansing his soul through his head, Magnus's hands settle on Alexander’s hips and he thinks, maybe just maybe they were going to be OK. Both of them. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> So this distraction was inspired by https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg3ib2ng8U7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link, and I recommend you check out everything the great Max has to offer, if you haven't stumbled across this delectable morsel before!


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